Dear Asshat,
Quit breaking into my car!
The book that you stole, "Activity Schedules for Children with Autism"; REALLY??? That's low, even for a petty thief. And b) it was from the library! Now they're going to think I stole it, which means you're messing with my character. Un. Acceptable.
There hasn't been any money in the little change cup for over a year, so why do you keep checking? Unless you're looking to steal an ice scrapper or a snow brush or the remnants of my son's breakfast muffin, keep on walkin', jerk! Hey Genius, you do realize I can see your footprints in the snow? Your wee-sized Timberlands will be no match to my size-9, ass-kicking, stacked heel when I finally catch you -- mark my words.
That Roll Up the Rim you took; well I hope you redeem it for my free coffee... and choke on it!
Owner of the '96 Mystique
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