Wednesday, March 05, 2008

An open letter to the guy that keeps breaking into my car

Dear Asshat,

Quit breaking into my car!

The book that you stole, "Activity Schedules for Children with Autism"; REALLY??? That's low, even for a petty thief. And b) it was from the library! Now they're going to think I stole it, which means you're messing with my character. Un. Acceptable.

There hasn't been any money in the little change cup for over a year, so why do you keep checking? Unless you're looking to steal an ice scrapper or a snow brush or the remnants of my son's breakfast muffin, keep on walkin', jerk! Hey Genius, you do realize I can see your footprints in the snow? Your wee-sized Timberlands will be no match to my size-9, ass-kicking, stacked heel when I finally catch you -- mark my words.

That Roll Up the Rim you took; well I hope you redeem it for my free coffee... and choke on it!

Owner of the '96 Mystique

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