Guitar 101: an experiment

Can someone learn to play the guitar from the internet? How long would it take for a complete novice to play a recognizable song? Will it be a completely rewarding experience, or a complete disaster? Well, these questions and others are the foci of my newest experiment. Though I am a grant writer for hire, this research is entirely self-funded and will likely never cure cancer or clean up the environment, but I hope to have fun, learn a little something and pass along all the ups and downs to this (entirely legitimate) publication source, which is more than I can say for some research that is being funded by your tax dollars.

OBJECTIVE: Armed with only a guitar, the internet and the free advice from kind friends and strangers, I will learn to play a guitar within a year.

BUDGET: Limited at best.

QUALITY OF THE RESEARCHER: Quality schmality.

BENEFITS: This research will cover a variety of soci/eco/political issues such as: a) usefulness of the internet b) time-management for busy, professional moms c) the power of positive thinking d) enrichment of lives through music d) to be determined.

Step One: Buy a guitar
This step was relatively painless. I did a Google search for "best beginner guitars", went to the local Long and McQuade, found a cute salesman, told him what I wanted and all I had to do was decide on a colour (NOT EASY). He even threw in a humidifier and about 20 picks (I've already lost 3).

Step Two: Name the guitar and assign a gender
Open to suggestions. Here's his picture...